I don’t know when I’ve felt this unnerved about anything in the recent past. For the first time in 20+ years my husband and I filed a tax extension this year. Our tax filing proved especially challenging because we underestimated our withholding and changed an investment strategy from “pre-tax” to “post-tax”. Additionally, the small company another mom and myself started two years ago miraculously turned a “profit”, at least in an accounting sense. These three factors combined to form a staggering tax liability that left me “gasping for air” when I opened my accountant’s email several days ago. I refer to it now as “the perfect storm” both for the shear size of the amount owed and for the way it’s made my stomach churn since learning the news.

I want to cry but I know it’s as useless as “crying over spilt milk”. Plus I don’t want to worry my three kids. Like any kids, they get especially freaked out when mom cries. The thing that bothers me the most is that my kids are the reason I started the company. Several years ago I began worrying – almost to the point of anxiety – over the direction of our country. Deciding that I needed to take action, I started a small company called The Liberty Brand Co. with another concerned mom. We’ve worked tirelessly, without pay, for the last two years because we are devoted to our cause (Liberty’s kids) and convinced of its importance. We’ve funded our enterprise solely through personal savings.  Needless to say, due to the ignorance of accounting principles on my part we show a profit, despite the fact that we’ve spent far more than we’ve taken in. The thing that astounds me the most is that it increased my personal income taxes by more than the “profit” we produced! For all that work, I only made matters worse.

I look at my kids and know I won’t give up but I’m discouraged. I answered “the call” and have tried to steward it faithfully and to the best of my ability. To date I’ve fallen short. I just wonder if these are some of the feelings the founding fathers had when they “mutually pledge(d) to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor ” on a hot July day that was the antithesis of today – “Tax Day”?!